Just Good Business
by linde13
Summary: "If Jacqueline 'Jack' Sparrow spent the rest of her life without ever laying eyes on an East India Trading Company ship again, she would die a happy woman. Unfortunately, she reflected as the red-jacketed guards shoved her into the overly-spacious Captain's cabin, Fate was seldom that kind." Fem!Jack, rated T for language.
**Disclaimer: Yeah, I** ** _wish_** **I owned** ** _Pirates of the Caribbean._**

If Jacqueline "Jack" Sparrow spent the rest of her life without ever laying eyes on an East India Trading Company ship again, she would die a happy woman. Unfortunately, she reflected as the red-jacketed guards shoved her into the overly-spacious Captain's cabin, Fate was seldom that kind.

"Remarkable," the devil himself commented, calmly looking out the window at the ship anchored across. "The last I saw of that ship, she was on fire, her blackened hull sinking beneath the waves."

Free of her restraints, Jack started fiddling around with the odds and ends on his desk, keeping an eye out for anything large enough to hold a certain someone's cold, beating heart.

Cutler Beckett turned around, his eyes cold and words venomous. "We had a deal, _Jacqueline._ I contracted you to deliver cargo on my behalf…and you chose to liberate it."

"People aren't cargo, mate." _Come on, surely he kept it_ somewhere _near him..._

"And you call yourself a pirate."

 _"_ _You_ did, actually." She raised her right arm, the sleeve falling away to reveal the brand on her wrist. "Quite ironic, actually. If it wasn't for your childish pettiness, I would have been happy to keep out of the pirate business. But as it is…" She felt a gleam of satisfaction as his eyes narrowed—no matter his cool demeanor, her presence here _irked_ him.

Then his eyes turned to the table behind her, and a corner of his lip turned up. "It's not here, Jack."

She stepped away from the table, her face a mask of bewildered innocence. "What isn't?"

"The heart of Davy Jones is safely aboard the Flying Dutchman, and so, unavailable for use as leverage to satisfy your debt to the good captain."

Jack smirked, drawing on her normal cockiness, and swaggered over to the self-portrait on the corner. "By my account, that debt has been settled."

"By your death. And yet, here you are." His voice betrayed his frustration at this new development.

After countless time spent with only herself for company, a part of Jack welcomed this battle of wits. "Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by."

His smile disappeared, his cold confidence slipping for a second into fury. "Your good deed cost me much, Jack!"

"Oh, did it?" She stepped forward, matching him toe-to-toe (and, rather pettily, emphasizing the fact that he _still_ needed to crane his head upward to look her in the eye) and raising her voice. "Well, your petty revenge cost me my ship and forced me straight back to the family business. I suppose we're both even."

He refused to back down. "I suppose we are. And if Davy Jones were to learn of your survival?"

Her smirk faltered. _Damn it, I'm back for_ two minutes _and look what happens._

Satisfied with his blow, Beckett crossed over to the tray on his desk and picked up two glasses of alcohol. "Perhaps we could come to an _alternative_ arrangement. One that requires nothing from you but information."

She glanced at his desk, where eight pieces of eight were lined up on a map. Her mind whirling at this new development, she reached out and grabbed the disappointingly tiny glass he offered—now would definitely be an appropriate time to start drinking. "Regarding the Brethren Court, no doubt." Eh, on second thought, she needed a _lot_ more alcohol to deal with this—she snatched the other glass out of his fingers before he could take a sip. "In exchange for fair compensation? Square my debt with Jones…" She tipped one drink down her throat. "…Guarantee my freedom?" She downed the other. Good, now she could think properly.

"Of course." He poured another glass, tilting it protectively away from her. "It's just good _business._ " Oh, he was definitely laying it on thick now.

She snorted. His idea of good business never came without a knife in the back. Picking up a tiny figure of—was that Beckett? Seriously, how many facsimiles of himself did he have lying around?—she started speculating out loud. "And were I in a divulge-atory mood…what then might I divulge?"

 _"_ _Everything._ " And yep, he hadn't changed at all—still as ambitious as hell. It was the one thing they could agree on, back in the day. "Where are they meeting? Who are the Pirate Lords?" He leaned even closer, face inches from her own. "What is the purpose of the nine pieces of eight?"

She smirked. "My, your spies _have_ been busy," she commented, stepping away from him and toying with a fan she'd picked up from one of the nearby tables. "I want my ship back first."

"What sort of fool do you think—" He caught himself just in time to avoid walking straight into a snark trap. "Not without leverage."

"An eye for an eye, eh? You can keep Barbossa," she reasoned, fanning herself with a fan she'd picked up from one of the desks. "The belligerent homunculus and his friend with the wooden eye, both. And Turner. _Especially_ Turner." Once a traitor, always a traitor. "The rest go with me aboard the _Pearl,_ and I'll lead you to Shipwreck Cove, where I will hand you the Pirate Lords and you will _not_ hand me to Jones. Bloody fair, don't you think?"

Beckett nodded in agreement, leaning back in his chair. "And what becomes of Miss Swann?"

She snapped the fan shut. "What interest is she to you?" Honestly, was there not _one_ man in the world with the ability to resist the temptations of Elizabeth Swann? He smirked, sitting up.

"Jack, I've just recalled: I have this wonderful compass which points to whatever I want. So for what do I need you?" He held said compass up for her, just to prove a point.

"Points to the thing you want most," she corrected him. "And that's not the Brethren Court, now is it?"

"Then what is, Jack?"

"Me!" She pointed to herself winningly. "Dead."

Not willing to take her word on it, he flipped the lid open; judging by his expression, the compass pointed straight to Jack. Just to rub it in, she waltzed across the room and watched as the needle followed her. "Damn," he muttered, flipping the lid shut, and then tossed the compass to her. She tossed the fan back and watched as his mind whirled, trying to find another loophole.

"Although…" he mused, fanning himself. "If I kill you, then I can use the compass to find—Shipwreck Cove, is it?—on my own." He snapped it shut and pulled a revolver from his coat pocket, flipping the safety off and pointing it straight at Jack. She eyed it warily. "Cut out the middleman, as it were. Or middlewoman, in this case."

Jack started pacing, the gun never leaving her sight. "With me killed, you'll arrive at the cove…and find it's a stronghold, nigh impregnable; able to withstand a blockade for years. And then you'll be wishing, _oh, if only there was someone who you had_ not _killed inside to ensure that the pirates then come_ outside."

"And you can accomplish this?" he asked doubtfully.

He had to be doing this on purpose. She smirked and stepped back, spreading her arms open. "You may kill me, but you'll never insult me. Who am I?"

He honestly looked bewildered, the bastard.

She shot him an injured look. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

BOOM! The windows of the cabin exploded, rocking the boat and sending both of them reeling; Jack, used to drink and bad weather, stayed on her feet, while Beckett stumbled into the table. Seizing the opportunity, she grabbed his arm firmly, shaking it ("Done!") before darting out the doors and strolling to the upper deck.

Dodging gunfire and cannons—trust Barbossa to have convinced Sao Feng to switch sides, Jack would almost be impressed if she didn't hate the bastard so much—she picked her way to the back of the ship, Beckett trailing behind her. On the _Pearl_ , she could make out the figure of Beckett's assistant falling off the deck, and smirked, before scanning her surroundings for a way to ensure Barbossa didn't take advantage of the opportunity to take over her ship. Again.

Grabbing a rope, she wrapped it around a stray cannon wheel before pointing the cannon towards her ship, a fuse lighter in her hand. As an afterthought, she plucked the miniature Beckett and stuck it in the cannon, just in time for him to reach the deck and stare at the spectacle.

"You're mad!" he said, as though realizing it for the first time.

She grinned. "Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this would probably never work." He dove out of the way just as she lit the cannon. The ball hit the mast— _Good, it won't be seaworthy for a while_ —and the cannon jerked back, yanking the rope up and sending her swinging across the two ships.

On the other side, the pirates watched open-mouthed as she shot screaming towards them. They raced to the upper deck just in time to see the rope slide into the water. Barbossa's face sagged in relief, until…

"And that was without a single drop of rum!"

The look on his face warmed her more than any rum. Disappointing two of the biggest thorns in her side in one day—not bad for a pirate just resurrected of the Locker.

On the _Endeavor,_ Beckett gritted his teeth as his one shot at finding Shipwreck Cove merrily sailed away. Damn pirates. "Signal the _Dutchman_ to track down Sao Feng," he gritted to Lieutenant Groves. "We follow the _Pearl._ How soon can we have the ship ready to pursue?"

He didn't even turn his head as the crack of the mast collapsing answered his question.

Lt. Groves stared at the _Pearl_ with something close to admiration. "Do you think she plans it all out, or just makes it up as she goes along?"

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**

 **To be honest, I don't think the storyline itself would be affected at all by making Jack female; Jack Sparrow was born to be a pirate, and it'll take more than a gender flip to keep him/her from captaining the** ** _Black Pearl._** **This was more of a character exploration than an actual story, exploring the change in how other people see her and how her dynamic with other characters changes. The first part of the dialogue is taken from an earlier script, not the movie itself; I wanted to probe more into Jack's history than what the movie showed us, although I'm not sure how well I did that.**

 **I'm not sure if I'll continue this; if I do, it'll be as oneshots.** **If you have any more suggestions for a fem!Jack oneshot, any constructive comments on the story in general, or just want to hear more about my thoughts concerning fem!Jack, feel free to review or ask.**

 **Linde13**


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